I left Dallas yesterday with a range of emotions. Part of me was happy to accomplish so many things in so little time. The other part of me was wondering could I have done more over the last two months. If we get to the end of radiation/rehabilitation and find that the cancer is still in his neck it will be very troubling. It is important to continue forging along in a positive manner. But,I think we were all fooled when we heard 80% and how treatable tongue cancer is thought to be.
I can't tell you how to apply your energy and time going forward. I can ask each of you do what you can? This might mean time. This might mean personal visits. This might mean checking on his apartment and car. It might even mean talking about items that are uncomfortable. None of us know if Dad wants to be buried or cremated. We all know his will is outdated and still makes mention of Norma. It needs to be attended ASAP. He has very few items in his apartment, but I am sure he has a list of things he wants someone to have. Maybe setting up an attorney is a smart move?
All Dad's mail is coming to Arkansas. Since I have it re-routed, I may need each of you to make a drop off at his hospital/rehab/apartment, depending on where he is at the time. He is also working on his phone list so I have carte blanche to talk to people regarding his accounts whenever necessary.
In a nutshell, we need to stay positive. He needs to get better so the quality of his life that he has left is excellent. No one knows what the future will hold. He could live 10-15 more years for all we know. But, he could also be gone in a flash. Don't wait for tomorrow to have the conversations that you need/want to have. We had a good one yesterday afternoon and it was one of the best he and I have ever had.
Our lives were not all sunshine and lollipops. But, Dad was a good provider. He missed out on the emotional part for a good portion of his life. Most of us have attributes and habits that are traceable to our upbringing and parents. Cherish the good times that you had with Dad and lets make this next month extremely positive. He was very down yesterday after the news he heard from Dr. Kirby. It's our time to pull him out of the pit.